Often times, a lot of people, regardless of whether they are a man or a woman, cannot distinguish between two rather different acts, that is, love making and having sex. As seen on Thought Catalog, sex is an instinctive and bio-mechanical act and everyone can do it. On the other hand, making love is considered to be a sensual, slow, and not goal-oriented act that gives us the opportunity to experience the metaphysical being of oneness and it is considered to be an art in itself. Hence, a fulfilling sex life and a successful romantic relationship should contain little of both.

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This being said, today’s article will be focused on showcasing the major characteristics of both acts with the purpose to increase the awareness among readers and help them lead a more successful sexual life which will consequently help them to better their sexual health. As explained by the WHO, sexual health is a state of mental, physical, and social well-being in relation to one’s sexuality and it requires a positive and respectful outlook to sexuality and sexual relationships and an ability to enjoy sexual experiences without coercion, violence, and discrimination.

Making Love vs. Having Sex

As seen on Teen Health Source, sex or sexual intercourse means different things to different individuals, but one thing is for sure, this is a healthy and natural activity enjoyed by most people who find it meaningful in their own unique way. As noted by Isadora Alman from Psychology Today, one may decide to engage in this act for different purposes, for example, lust, intimacy, boredom, relief, to exert power, to fulfill expectations, baby making, to express love, take comfort, etc. She further goes on to explain that at its best, this act is considered to be one of sharing and intimacy because there is not a more intimate act than letting another one inside a private body part with the goal to share pleasure.

Although the terms “having sex” and “making love” are used interchangeably by many and though making love often includes sexual intercourse, they do not necessarily indicate the same activity.

When two individuals make love, their vulnerability levels are pretty high. This is often a result of sharing emotions and words that they may not have done before, as seen on Your Tango. Both persons tend to let their guard down and risk and reward come into play. During love making, one experiences unique closeness with their partner and find it difficult to imagine other moments happening without them.

On the other hand, when you are having sex with someone, although the vulnerability still plays a role, it is of a different kind. Namely, one may be afraid of the sexual intercourse not being good or losing the needed chemistry. Also, one may question if his/her sexual needs will be received well or not, as explained on Your Tango.

People who are aware of this distinction also know that making love involves both sides being entirely themselves, genuine and raw, like they are on the daily, regardless if this involves the occasional missionary pose or some more adventurous explorations. The mutual love and understanding is what allows partners to completely relax and make love without feeling any pressure or restraint regarding their sexual needs or wants.

Having sex does not always include genuine feelings and emotions and people may allow themselves to not be the person they are on the daily, as noted on Your Tango. One may try out all kinds of sexual desires and expose a different side of themselves that they may never actually show publically. You may also be expressing some hidden personality traits through the act of having sex.

When love is not in the picture but merely getting sexual pleasure, saying goodbye is never a problem and one may be able to move on without necessarily looking for commitment from the other side involved. However, this is not always the case when you are making love with a person with whom you have found a connection. Love making puts more at stake than getting and giving sexual pleasure, like your feelings, emotions, and deepest thoughts that are shared during this act. This is why saying goodbye is not always something easily done and both partners feel more committed to each other.

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Making Love                                                                                           Having Sex

Ecstatic adventure of a lifetime                                                        more of a physical trill

Complex expression of love                                                            physical activity

Helps communicate your love non-verbally                                        focused on stimulation

Helps one to show good feelings and thoughts about their loved one         can be enjoyed without love

Requires sharing more than your body

To have a better grasp of the distinction between these two acts, as pointed out on Thought Catalog, it is beneficial to explain the “heights of sex” and the “depths of making love”.

The former is centered on stimulation and response from the nervous system. This type of sex is usually expressed solely by a physical experience and it is measured by how intense and how strong the stimulation is.

On the other hand, the “depths of sex” encourage both participants to use their bodies, souls, and minds to reach one another’s heart. What’s more, love making gives the partners space to discover any hidden issues that may appear during this uniquely intimate experience and to surpass the physical body limitations and connect with each other. During this act, the focus is not solely on the physical body and it requires dedication to be able to truly win the partner’s mind, soul, and heart.

Final Thoughts on the Difference between Making Love & Having Sex

As seen from the aforementioned points, having sex and making love are two distinct acts and the former is more associated with getting a quality physical pleasure through proper stimulation whereas making love requires getting both sexual pleasure and love.

According to Thought Catalog, one could enjoy a pleasurable sexual intercourse without having to be necessarily in love with the other individual and they may easily part ways afterwards. But, this is not the case with love making, which often requires exploration of different aspects like one’s mind and soul, deepest feelings and thoughts, not just each other’s bodies, and it therefore creates an additional level of closeness and intimacy. The passion tends to grow between the partners simultaneously with their love.

When it comes to having sex, the intimacy has to do with merging your physical needs and body parts with the other partner whereas love making is more about connecting your minds and souls through the act of sexual intercourse.

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